This was a Duncan Weldon production for Triumph Productions that opened at the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre in Guildford on the 15th March 1995 before touring the UK to theatres in Richmond, Birmingham, Sheffield, Malvern and Bath.
| Written by | George Bernard Shaw |
| Director | John Caird |
| Designed by | John Gunter |
| Lighting Designer | David Hersey |
| Costume Designer | Deirdre Clancy |
| Music by | John Cameron |
| Sound by | John A. Leonard |
| Fights | Malcolm Ranson |
| Assistant Director | Fiona Laird |
| Company Manager | Philip Gault |
| Stage Manager | Philip Deverell |
| Deputy Stage Manager | Gussie Welch |
| Assistant Stage Managers | Shaun Knowles & Helen Caroll |
| Assistant Director (later promoted) | Christopher Luscombe |
| Voice & Text | Patsy Rodenberg |
| Wardrobe Master | Michael Jason |
| Wig Mistress | Alexandra Caldron |
| Julius Sagamore | Richard Johnson |
| Epifania Ognisanti di Parerga Fitzfassenden | Raquel Welch |
| Alastair Fitzfassenden | Steven Pacey |
| Patricia Smith | Emma Chambers |
| Adrian Blenderbland | Patrick Ryecart |
| The Doctor | Roshan Seth |
| The Old Man (Joe) | Donald Pelmear |
| The Old Woman (His Wife) | Susan-Jane Tanner |
| The Hotel Manager | Christopher Luscombe |
| Understudies |
| Doctor / Adrian Blenderbland | Jeremy Anthony |
| Sagamore / The Old Man | Michael Bottle |
| Patricia Smith / The Woman | Tanya Franks |
| Alastair Fitzfassenden / The Hotel Manager | Robin Hellier |
| Judith Hepburn | Epifania Fitzfassenden |
| Production Electrician | Bill Wardroper |
| Production Carpenter | Tony Harvey |
| Assistant to Production Manager | Mike Britton |
| Costume Supervisor | Allan Watkins |
| Assistant to the Costume Supervisor | Kay Manassen |
| Props Buyer | Yolanda Jeffrey |
| Advertising, Graphics & Marketing | Haymarket Advertising |
| Press Representatives | Peter Thompson Associates |
| Personal Assistant to Raquel Welch | Tina Marshall |
| Personal Dresser to Raquel Welch | Spencer Kitchen |
| Producer | Duncan C. Weldon |
| Associate Producer | Peter Wilkins |
| Production Manager | Matthew Gale |
| Production Assistants | Gina Barlow / Sheila Devo / Victoria Kimber / Victoria Hazard |
| Production & Publicity | Katrina Triscott |
| Wardrobe Hire Managers | Billy Jay / Rosemary Tyler |
| Accounts Department | Saw Polo / Sheila Mawenu |
| Legal Adviser | David Wills |
| Set Built by | Bower Wood Production Services |
| at | Yvonne Arnaud There (Scenery) Ltd. |
| Set Painted by | Paula Dellow / Julia Perren |
| Cloth by | Scanacrome |
| Sound Equipment by | Autograph |
| Lighting Equipment by | White Light |
| Props and Furniture by | Souvenir Scenic Studios Ltd. / Rolf Driver / Vikkie Heron / Russel Beck Studio / Streeter and Jessel |
| Soft Furnishings by | Helen Pettitt |
| Overcoats by | Academy Costumes |
| Women's Costumes by | Karen Crichton / Madeleine Fry / Jackie Hallet / Angelina Pieroni |
| Men's Costumes by | Keith Taylor |
| Wig for Raquel Welch by | Angela Cobbin |
| Wig for Emma Chambers | Joyce Beagarie |
| Men's Hairstyling by | Campbell Young |
| Hats by | Mark Wheeler |
| Busts by | Roger Cresswell |